Your role as a spiritual helper. By Neale Donald Walsch.

Water of life - Gil Dekel. River flow.

“Water of life” – By Gil Dekel.

The ninth step in becoming a spiritual helper is to:


This is another big step, because this step allows us to know who we are every inch along the path, and to put that beingness into place in the space of life in every moment. It is this and only this that can empower us to recreate ourselves anew.

A Spiritual Helper is one who understands all that has just been said, and practices it. “Getting real” means understanding what is really true for you in any given moment, and sharing that. In other words, it means telling the truth. “Getting practical” means putting your truth on the ground in a functional, real world way. “Getting going” means doing it now, not on some undetermined tomorrow.

What is not True and Now is pointless.

Did you hear that? Did you understand the implication of that? Please don’t be offended by these questions. Every day I have to act as if I never heard that before.

Every day I seek to bring myself to a new understanding of what all of that means. Sometimes I can hear something and “not hear it,” know what I mean? And sometimes I have to say the same thing over and over again to myself to stop it from going in one ear and out the other. I’ve heard some things so often it’s like I’ve never heard them at all. I have to really focus to bring myself to such tidbits as if they were brand new.

So sometimes I sound like I’m repeating myself, but that’s not always bad. ‘Cause it gives me a chance to hear the same thing over again, and hear it “brand new.” So let me ask you again, did you hear that? What I SAID was…what is not True and Now is pointless.

The implication of that is enormous. Because if you see this and embrace this and accept this wholly, nor merely intellectually, you will find yourself telling your truth and living your truth openly and consistently. You will become congruent. And congruence is essential for a Spiritual Helper.

The congruent person

Congruence is a special quality. It is a quality not found in many people. Most people think one thing and say another. Most people say one thing and do another. People do not tell their truth, much less live it. (We’ve already discussed this in Chapter 2 and again in Chapter 5.) They live lives that are very incongruent.

A synonym for congruence, in my way of using the word, is integrity. A structure that is built well, on a solid foundation, is said to have integrity. In a terrifically strong windstorm, or an earthquake, that construction will behave in a certain way. People, too, are a construction. They are built out of the thoughts within their own minds, out of the words they speak, an out of the actions they take. If their structure is well built, on a solid foundation, it will have integrity. Through the windstorms of life, and its many earthshaking events, that construction will have integrity.

Windstorms are inevitable. People sometimes wish that the windstorms of life would go away. But it was Elisabeth Kübler-Ross who said, “Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their carvings.”

The true beauty and integrity of people is visible during the windstorms and the earthquakes of life. Likewise, a lack of integrity will also reveal itself during such times. Even thought not very many people—myself included—have achieved it, I believe that congruence can be achieved by everyone. All it takes is telling the truth. That is why you have seen such an emphasis on truth telling in these 10-steps to becoming a Spiritual Helper.

The naked truth

It is time to get naked with each other. If not physically (although there is not a reason in the world not to), at least psychologically and emotionally naked.

I made a wisecrack on my Internet blog once that pretty soon no one will be able to travel anywhere by air unless they are willing to fly in the nude. I mean, now they are taking our lighters away from us. I don’t smoke, but I have always carried a small lighter in my travel bag. You never know when you want a little flame for one reason or another (lighting a take-along aroma candle in a hotel room for a romantic evening, even though you’re on the road, comes to mind…)

Then I said something about, well, traveling in the nude may not be such a bad thing. It’s very difficult to lie when you’re naked. People tend to be a bit more real when they’ve got nothing on.

Oh yes, yes, I know. A lot of lies have been told in bed. But I mean, as a rule. There’s always the exception that proves the rule, but as a rule, one of the fastest ways that I know of to get right down to the bare truth with someone is to sit in a hot tub with them, naked, and start talking. Marvelous stuff happens. Wonderful intimacy occurs. People start being real.

Thirty years ago I was introduced to a little parlor game called The Naked Truth. I was at a cast party for a play I had acted in with our local community theatre group, and when the gang dwindled down to about 7 or 8 of us, our host invited us to end our evening with a game of The Naked Truth.

All of us were to take our clothes off, sit in a circle on the floor, and ask each other questions. Anyone could ask anyone else any question whatsoever, and the respondent was required by the honor code to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Each person was allowed one “pass” per night, if there was a question he/she just did not choose to answer. Two “passes” and you were out. Put on your clothes and go home.

It was a wonderful evening, actually. It started out as kind of a dare, kind of a “naughty” thing to do that we thought we were doing just for the titillation of it, but it turned out to be an extraordinary time that went on until 4 in the morning, and those 8 people became friends of incredible closeness for the next 20 years.

Nothing even remotely sexual occurred, in case you are wondering. I think that a few people might have been hoping that it might, but very soon after the “game” got started we all understood that we were in for quite a different experience—something that many in the room were not ready for, but which everyone welcomed with a deep and true joy, once things got started.

It seems everyone was relieved just to have created a safe space for such openness and honesty and authenticity. It’s pretty difficult to be inauthentic when you’re naked. I’ve since played Naked Truth many times. It’s a wonderful experience. Hot tubs are good places in which to do it. People need excuses to take their clothes off, and for many, hot tubs are socially acceptable reasons for doing so.

We have such hang ups in our society, and nudity is certainly one of them. In fact, it’s such a hang-up that I debated whether to even put this passage in this booklet. There’s some discussion of this in What God Wants, remember? It talks about the mother who was scandalized because she found out that her 14-year-old daughter slept in the nude. The mother wrote to Dear Abby asking the advice columnist whether she thought it was all right. Abby replied, of course it’s all right. Be happy. She’s saving on the laundry.

Let’s get real. If we find someone who matters, really matters, to us, but we can’t bring ourselves to be physically naked with each other quickly, can we at least be mentally and emotionally and psychologically naked as soon as possible? Can we hide nothing, show everything, and just be authentic, down to our toes?

God, I hope so. Because if we can’t, where are we going here? What are we up to? Isn’t that what we are trying to do here? Aren’t we trying to get to know each other? Aren’t we all also trying to know ourselves? Isn’t that the First Assignment? And can you think of a better way to truly know yourself than to reveal yourself completely to another?

This is all about getting real, getting practical, and getting going. You can’t get real as long as you are holding something back, you can’t get practical as long as you are not getting real, and you can’t get going as long as you are not getting practical.

The path is connected, and one thing leads to another. Getting practical means doing something on the ground that begins to make a difference. It is about physicalizing the state of being from which you are choosing to emerge and create.

Getting going is about getting off your duff and creating your intended experience right here, right now. It is about discontinuing the delaying, the procrastination, all the “preparing” that you may feel you have to do before you can actually move into the experience that you say you desire.


Water of life - Gil Dekel. River flow.

“Water of life” – By Gil Dekel.


Some practical ways to take Step Nine

Taking this ninth step in becoming a spiritual helper is as simple as A-B-C.

A. Decide to get real now. This is easier done than you might think. But it does take a true commitment, and a little courage, especially at the start. Pretty soon, courage is no longer required. Just persistence.

B. Do what works. Getting practical involves making an assessment of “what works” in the real world, and doing it.

C. Give yourself a deadline—and stick to it no matter what. Don’t let “tomorrow” slip and slide until months have passed. Give yourself a Date Certain that you’re going to become a Spiritual helper. Promise yourself that you’ll emerge as that on that date—and keep your promise.

Now let’s take a look at how you can do this.

I have a great tool for you to use in getting real now. Yes, it is one more book for you to read, and a seminar that you can take. But again, it could truly change your life. The book and the seminar go by the same name: Getting Real. The author and seminar facilitator is Susan Campbell, Ph.D.

The information in Getting Real dovetails very nicely with the narrative of The Sedona Method. In fact, the two books could have been written by the same author. In the second book Hale Dwoskin talks about stopping the resisting of what is, and of how you are feeling about it right now. In the first text Campbell invites you to see the differing between what is and your ideas about it, and about relating authentically by valuing what is over what you imagine should or could be.

Dwoskin also says that one very effective way of dealing with unwanted feelings is to dive deeply into them. Similarly, Campbell says, “when you go deeply and patiently into an experience, feeling it fully without escaping into a control pattern, it changes! I’m not kidding. The way out is to go deeply in.”

These techniques are demonstrated in the training seminars produced by each of these wonderful teachers, and similar approaches are demonstrated in the three retreats produced by the Conversations with God Foundation, called ReCreating Yourself, Emotional Freedom, and Being It. (Information on these retreats may be found on the web at Click on Retreats & Schedule.)

In the Emotional Freedom retreat that I facilitate—usually a three or five-day affair—participants have an opportunity to experience all this, and I explore at length something that has been said here:

What is not True and Now is pointless.

This is because it is not you. “You”—that is, the You that you really are—exist at only One Time: Now.

What is True about You is only what is True Now. Everything else is in your imagination. Your feelings, your thoughts, your fears—none of these are real. You’re making all of that up. These wonderful books and programs that I have been telling you about can help you get in touch with that in a very powerful way. They can show you how to use that awareness as a tool for personal transformation,and for transformation of the planet.

For now simply know that anything that is not You in all of your authenticity is pointless, because the whole point of life is to know, to experience, to express, and to fulfill Who You Really Are.You begin that process by “getting real” now.

More practical suggestions

Don’t try to do something in the exterior world that simply will not work. At least, not at the start. It was Albert Einstein, I believe, who said, “If it is not impossible it is not even worth attempting,” or words to that effect, and I love the sentiment, but I do not advise this as a beginning energy.

Let’s be real. Try as you may to redefine what you once considered “failure” as a success, it is far more motivating in the early going of any venture or undertaking to rack up some experiences that are judged a “success” even by inaccurate, but very much in place, old world standards.

So look to see what being a Spiritual Helper means to you, and how that “looks.” Make a list of the kinds of things you would be and do if you were experiencing yourself as that. The Life Education Program of the Conversations with God Foundation offers some very real and very practical suggestions on that.

This is much you can be and do. You can decide to be more peaceful each day, to be more patient and kind of loving and caring and concerned and considerate and useful. On the “doingness” side, you can choose to start a simple study group in your home two nights a month, or to volunteer with your local hospice, or to offer to become a peer counselor at your church, or to offer free time at the local battered women’s shelter or youth home.

Or simply put a classified ad in the newspaper: “Spiritual counseling, based on the messages in Conversations with God. A fee is not required. This is God Work we are up to, you and I. So keep on.” It might be useful to find a coach or helper who could walk you through your first few weeks or months in the new role that you have assigned yourself. If you don’t know where to find such a coach, go to

Some final practical ideas

Once you decide what is true for you, take at least one step right now to make that ‘real’ for you as a practical matter.

I know a lady who has been saying for four months that her job is wearing her out and that she just “knows” she is going to make Big Changes in her life work and move into her life mission in 2005. She said this before the bell tolled midnight on New Year’s Eve and not a thing has happened with regard to her living what she says is her true mission as it now approaches May 1.

Often we talk ourselves into thinking that something is happening, or is just about to happen, because we are doing so much talking about it. To really start things going in a very real sense, I suggest that everything undertake the Getting Practical Process that I have developed for my retreats.

Take our a sheet of paper and write down three things that you have said you choose to be, do, and have in your life. Making a column next to that list, write down when it was that you can first remember making that declaration. One more column over, write down where you are now with this decision. And in the final column write down a Date Certain when you will have accomplished what you chose to be, do, or have.

Look at this chart every day or at least three days a week and keep track of your progress. If it begins to drag into months, as it has done in the case of this lady friend of mine, then it may be time to ask yourself, “What is stopping me from making this real? What am I afraid would happen if I did? How much more time am I willing to lose until I do? do I really and truly want this, is this just something that sounded good at the time, but that I no longer choose for me now?”

Be honest with yourself in this process.
Tell the truth.
Get real.

The last word on Step Nine

You are near the final step in the 10 Steps to Becoming a Spiritual Helper. If you have done, or intend to do, all that has been suggested here, you will be ready to take the tenth and final step.

This is a big decision. This is a big choice. Do not make this decision unless you intend to really be what you say that you wish to be. Once you declare yourself as a Spiritual Helper (even just privately, in your own heart) people will begin to approach you, asking for this help. This is just what happens. You put that energy out there and the world responds. This means that you must be fully response-able. You must be responsible.

I am sure that you act responsibly in your life, and so you don’t need to be told things like this. Still, as a Spiritual Helper myself, I am required to tell you everything that I know on this subject. There is a big level of responsibility here. It need not be “heavy,” as in a burden, but it is large, as in magnificent. This can be your “magnificent obsession,” but it cannot be something that you will be able to take lightly.

You will see.

And you will be glad. You never intended to take it lightly, or you would not have read this far. You intend to experience the wonderful lightness of this joyful activity—that expression of love which we call enlightenment—but you never intended to lightly pass over its duties and responsibilities.

So welcome. Welcome to the group of Spiritual Helpers on our planet. You have a final step to go, but it is clear you are already there.

* End of chapter 9 *

Copyright © 2005 Neale Donald Walsch. Published here by Gil Dekel with Neale’s permission. 1 January 2017..

Published in 2005 by Spiritual Legacies, Ashland, OR, USA. All rights reserved.