Your role as a spiritual helper. By Neale Donald Walsch.
The eighth step in becoming a spiritual helper is to:
8. DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT AND RE-DEFINE FAILURE
This is another big step, because this step allows us to keep moving, keep moving, always keep moving, in the face of every evidence that our movement is getting us nowhere; to keep changing, keep changing, always keep changing, in the face of every evidence that nothing is changing at all; to keep growing, keep growing, always keep growing, in the face of every evidence that we are not growing, but dying.
A Spiritual Helper is one who understands that all growing feels in some ways like dying, and that death is, in fact, the greatest sign of growth. Did you hear that? Did you understand the implication of that? Please don’t be offended by these questions. Every day I have to act as if I never heard that before.
Every day I seek to bring myself to a new understanding of what all of that means. Sometimes I can hear something and “not hear it,” know what I mean? And sometimes I have to say the same thing over and over again to myself to stop it from going in one ear and out the other. I’ve heard some things so often it’s like I’ve never heard them at all. I have to really focus to bring myself to such tidbits as if they were brand new.
So sometimes I sound like I’m repeating myself, but that’s not always bad. ‘Cause it gives me a chance to hear the same thing over again, and hear it “brand new.”
So let me ask you again, did you hear that? What I SAID was…death is the greatest sign of growth.
The implication of that is enormous. Because if you see this and embrace this and accept this wholly, nor merely intellectually, you will find yourself facing disappointment, obstacles, and even the end of your life in ways that will astound you—and heal the world. And that is, of course, what Spiritual Helpers do. Spiritual Helpers help to heal the world.
Understanding disappointment and death
Disappointment is the indulgence of the young. The Master understands that the feeling that others call “disappointment” is merely a signal from the soul that it has undertaken a course correction heading us back to exactly where we wish to go.
That is the most astonishing piece of information that most people have ever received, and so I am going to repeat it here. I want you to really take this in, really drink this in. Indeed, I want you to reprint it in large letters on a separate sheet of paper and put it on your refrigerator door.
The Master understands that the feeling others call “disappointment” is merely a signal from the soul that it is heading us back to exactly where we wish to go.
This one understanding can change everything. This particular awareness, this singular insight, can shift the consciousness of any individual to the level of Mastery within minutes. You must understand that you are a three-part being, made up of body, mind, and spirit. It is the spirit of you—what you would call your soul—which has the agenda. Your mind and your body are merely the tools of your soul.
Your body is not you, it is something you have. Your mind is not who you are, it is who you think you are. Your body, mind, and soul is who you are, and, as in everything, the Whole is greater than the sum of its parts. When you respond to the soul’s agenda, which is the only True Agenda, rather than to the false agenda of the body or the mind, you take your first step on the path to mastery. To many, this will seem like death.
The end of your serving the agenda of your body (physical desires and indulgences) and the end of your serving the agenda of your mind (mental conceits and comforts) will seem like the end of your life itself. This is because your life itself has been focused on these indulgences and conceits.
When you move to the agenda of your soul, it will feel for a moment as if you are leaving your body and your mind behind—and this is exactly the feeling you have at the moment of your death. And so this will feel like death to you. Yet it will be not death, but life, and life as you have never known you could live it. You will live life and you will live it more abundantly. You will live it in a new way. This is exactly what happens, by the way, at the moment of your physical death. It, too, will be not death, but life, and life as you have never known you could live it. You will live life and you will live it more abundantly. You will live it in a new way.
When a person (or anything) “dies,” it has really been born again into a new life. Death is a portal from this life to the next, and all death is a birthing. This is true of everything from the death of the biggest stars in the heavens to the death of the tiniest cells on earth. The cosmos is playing out an identical process at every level of its expression.
There is, in truth, no such thing as death, there is only the Cycle of Life, showing up in particular ways. Thus, death is the greatest sign of growth. Rejoice, and be glad, at the death of what once was, for that which arises from it passes beyond it, becoming that which it could never become in its present form.
And so, I shall repeat once more…when you adopt the agenda of your soul, it will feel for a moment as if you are leaving your body and your mind behind. Yet it will be not death, but life, and life as you have never known you could live it. You will live life and you will live it more abundantly. You will live it in a new way.
This life, and this new way you are living it, represents (that is, RE-PRESENTS…or presents ONCE AGAIN) Who You Really ARE—and your soul knows this. Thus, the soul says, “I am the way and the life. Follow me. CwG puts this poignantly: “Go with the soul.”
Yet you will find it very difficult to go with the soul, and will want to pay much more attention to the agenda of the body or the mind, if you do not embrace the soul’s definition of “failure.” Here is the soul’s definition of failure:
Failure is that
which is not
This is difficult for the mind to believe and the body to express. Our experience of the world teaches us otherwise. We are called, then, to “judge not by appearances.” This is the path of the spiritual seeker. It is the role of the spiritual leader to show us that path. That is what a Spiritual Helper does. That is why this is the eighth step in becoming a Spiritual Helper. It is an important step. Indeed, it is a crucial step.
Some practical ways to take Step Eight
Taking this eighth step in becoming a spiritual helper is as simple as 1-2-3.
- See feeling and emotion for what it is. These are not things that we cannot control.
- Use feelings as creative tools. Most people use them as reactive agents.
- Step into the Illusion of Failure. Do not seek to avoid failure, but to embrace it for what it is.
Now let’s take a look at how you can do this.
Feelings are things you are making up. The day you get this will be the day your life will change. Conversations with God says that “feelings are the language of the soul.” This has led many people into thinking that feelings are the way that our soul is trying to communicate with us. In this they have misunderstood everything.
Feelings are not the soul’s tools of communication, feelings are the soul’s tools of creation.
Whoa. Now THERE is something big. There is something for you to remember always. Stop looking to your feelings to see what it is you think your soul is trying to tell you, and starting looking to our feelings to see what it is you are now creating. Then, if you do not like what you are creating, choose again. Do this by changing how you are feeling.
Now wait a minute, you might say, how can I change how I am feeling? I’m feeling how I’m feeling! How can I change that? You mean, just ignore it? Set it aside? Sublimate it? Repress my feelings? No. I mean none of these. I mean change your feelings, one at a time. Do not repress them, do not sublimate them, do not simply set them aside. Indeed, do just the opposite. Move into the fullness of them. As you do, you will find that these feelings are not Who You Really Are. You will remember that your feelings are simply things that you are making up. AND, more importantly, you will remember WHY you are making them up!
You are making up your feelings in order that you might set up the energy patterns that are required to produce the experience of Self in physical form that your soul chooses to experience. Feelings are energies. Nothing more, nothing less. They are fields of energy, and you can feel them. That is why they are called feelings. They are physical manifestations. They create other physical manifestations in the physical world.
There is so much to say on this topic and this little booklet can’t be in any way a thorough exposition of that. Please let it be sufficient for me to note here that what you there is for you to remember about that can change everything in your life. And if becoming a Spiritual Helper is truly what you wish to do, you absolutely must read every word there is to read on this subject.
You can start with the wonderful explanation of this found in Chapters 25-28 of What God Wants. If you have already read that book, go back and re-read those chapters again. They are well worth absorbing a second time. They could open a door for you to the rest of your life.
Then, be sure and be certain to read Ask and It Is Given, by Jerry and Esther Hicks, as well as The Power of Positive Thinking by Rev. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Finally, to learn of a practical, hands-on way to deal with your feelings and to change them, immediately read The Sedona Method, an extraordinary book by Hale Dwoskin.
In this book Hale explains in very clear language how you can release any unwanted feelings with which you may find yourself beset from time to time, thus achieving emotional freedom. To me emotional freedom does not mean that you are free of feelings. It does not mean that you will have no feelings, but that you will have the feelings of your choice. Since feelings are the soul’s tools of creation, this is no small matter. When you consciously choose the feelings that you have, you become the master of your own destiny, for your inner experience is now what you say it is, no matter what is happening outside of you.
Remember how we said in an earlier chapter that the intention and the purpose of your soul has nothing to do with exterior results? All of this now comes together!
More practical suggestions
So, see feeling and emotion for what it is. Check out the difference between “feeling” and “emotion” as presented in the CwG material. Then use these tools in the act of pure creation. The moment you feel that you would like to create something in your exterior world, in order that you might know and experience Who You Really Are interiorly (remember, you are using your exterior world as a tool for the purpose of interior experience), decide to feel the way you would feel if this experience was your reality.
Remember, it will not make a difference whether it really IS your exterior reality. (That is what is meant when we say that exterior results or outcomes are not the issue.) All that will matter is whether you have managed to feel the feelings that would go with such an exterior experience. If you can, you will have had the interior experience of Who You Really Are in relationship to that other person, place, or thing—and that is all that your soul is after.
Yet—and once again here is the miracle of the process—the very having of those feelings sets up an exterior and very real physical energy field that is capable of producing manifestations and outcomes in your exterior world. So, begin to use feelings creatively rather than reactively. Most people experience feelings as something they are having in reaction to something else. This is an invitation for you to experience feelings as something that you are having in creation of something else.
How can you “have” a feeling that is not a reaction? Simple. Merely call it forth. You can call forth any feeling that you wish at any time that you choose. This is not something that is widely known or widely understood. It is not widely accepted. When it is, the world will change. When it is by you, you will change.
Change your feelings, change your life.
Let that be our motto for today. Use feelings creatively by choosing to feel how you know you would feel if what you want to have happen has happened. You may do this any number of ways, including visualization of your desired experience, as well as acceptance of what is.
The power of acceptance as a creative tool is not largely understood, but it cannot be overstated. CwG says, “What you resist, persists” Therefore resist not “what is,” but accept and embrace what is as the greatest blessing of your life. Do not move against it, but move with it to your next best idea. Use what is as your vehicle to carry you to what you choose. Never see it as an obstacle, but always as a bridge.
Remember this always: What IS is a BRIDGE. Yes? Isn’t that great?
Now be sure to read all of those books I have mentioned, and do not be daunted. The additional reading I have been suggesting here will take you but a matter of days or weeks, and it can change your entire life. Make the investment. Do it.
Some final practical ideas
It will no doubt seem to you from time to time as though you can’t “do it.” Or that you have tried to do it, and you have failed. Please come to a full understanding of the truth that failure is an illusion. I am going to ask you to please study very carefully the Ten Illusions of Humans as found in Communion with God. This explains to you better than I ever could here in this booklet what the Illusion of Failure is all about, and how to use it to create the experience of Self that you choose.
As you undertake your study, know this: Every scientist goes into the laboratory yearning for failure. For scientists know that what other people call “failure” is nothing but success in disguise. You cannot know and experience That Which Is except in the face of That Which Is Not. That Which Is Not is therefore always encountered before That Which Is is uncovered.
Celebrate, celebrate That Which Is Not, for it is merely the other side of the coin of the realm of your innermost experience of your uppermost truth about That Which Is.
The last word on Step Eight
Failure will surely seem to plague you until you understand that it is blessing you. You must recognize “failure” for what it is.
Remember what Conversations with God tells us. To “recognize” is to RE-COGNIZE. That is, to know again. And this is exactly what re-membering (becoming a member once again of the body of God) is all about.
You cannot be a Spiritual Helper unless you know again that what you call failure is but an illusion, and unless you see again what disappointment really is. In the absence of these understandings you’ll be stopped at every juncture, blocked at every turn. It is what is inside of you that is obstructing you, not what is outside of you. For the experience you seek is inside of you, not outside of you. So long as you think otherwise, you will experience everything in life as being inside out. It will seem crazy-making. It will appear insane. And you will not know why, or what to do about it.
This is where most people are. This is why they need Spiritual Helpers. And this is where you come in. So, post this observation everywhere that you will be sure to see it during the course of the day. On your bathroom mirror, on your refrigerator, on the dashboard of your car:
The Master understands that the feeling others call “disappointment” is merely a signal from the soul that it is heading us back to exactly where we wish to go.
Your soul knows when your body or your mind (or both) have taken you off course. The “course correction” that your soul instigates is cause for celebration, not consternation, for encouragement, not discouragement.
Whenever you are tempted to feel disappointed I invite you to feel re-pointed instead. You have simply been pointed in a new direction—the direction in which you have really chosen to go. The outside of you may not know this, but the inside of you does. So it may feel differently on the outside than it does on the inside. This may produce an experience of having “torn feelings” about something. Part of you is sad that it didn’t work out, and part of you knows that is probably for the better.
Now get this: It is not probably for the better, it IS for the better. Knowing this will soon change your feeling about everything, and allow you to feel excitement again about the future. This, in turn, will produce the future about which you are excited! Whoa. The circle is complete!
“Failure,” what a laugh.
* End of chapter 8 *
Copyright © 2005 Neale Donald Walsch. Published here by Gil Dekel with Neale’s permission. 1 January 2017.
Published in 2005 by Spiritual Legacies, Ashland, OR, USA. All rights reserved.