I want to thank you for the upbringing you gave me, for the help with my education, my studies…
However, I also want to tell you that your insistence that emotions are a waste of time, that talking about things is useless and unnecessary, is the actual thing that makes me ill and blocked out because I’m doing it, and have done so far, and it brought me only grief and illness as my own body cannot take it anymore.
And so I’m willing to release it. I’m willing to express myself easily, and at any time I want and need it.
I’m willing to be open with my emotions and talk about any subjects I choose with my loved ones.
I’m ready to let go of your education and your ways. They are perhaps good for you but they are not good for me. And so, I wish to cut off the ties to the old ways, to blockages, to suppressed rage and anger I’m still holding on to.
I’m free to release all that I no longer need and welcome health and openness and easy flow of energy.
The rules you insisted on me abiding by them as a child are no longer relevant to me as an adult and a grown up woman, as a wife and a mother. And I do not want my children growing up under the same rules.
I am willing to change. I am willing to let go of those rules and start a new way of being myself; being free to express myself and set my own boundaries that will protect my energy and bring only love into my life and that of others.
I want my children to be able to express their fears and opinions just as I want to be able to express my own views and opinions, with no fear of ridicule or anger towards it.
I am freedom; I am joy. I am easily and joyously expressing my emotions. I let go of my anger with ease and joyously welcome the new in life. I’m willing to express myself from my heart, not from my head.
Fear has no place in my life anymore. I let go with love…
12 March 2013.
© Natalie Dekel