by Natalie and Gil Dekel.
Happiness is not something that we encounter by chance… Rather, it is a state of mind that comes with contentment, and with acceptance of life with no judgement. To be happy you need to understand your thoughts and outlook at life.
In spiritual terms, no one ‘out there’ really cares about what or who you are… In truth, only you care about it, and only you formulate an image about yourself. You then project this image from your mind outwards. The way that people react to you is simply a reflection of how you see yourself, how you have projected yourself, and how you expect people to react to you.
If you hold to certain identity and cherish it, then people around you will sense it, relate to it, and will see you through this identity. You may not be aware of this, so it is good idea to start by looking at how do we project identities…
How do we project?
People project identities and inner thoughts through their actions, behaviours and body language. With that, people send messages outwards. Other people then behave accordingly, mirroring your inner image and creating outer situations to match it. Unaware of your thoughts you may feel upset by these situations, but all the others did was to reflect your inner turmoil.
Why do we project?
Some people ‘beg’ for emotions, so much so that they create identities just to try and please other people. They may end-up creating identities that do not represent their inner truth. Such identities portray who they-are-not, in an attempt to please others and gain their respect. Yet, people will respect you more if you act as you are naturally-inclined to. In essence, you do not need to ‘beg’ for people’s reactions or approval.
How to change?
There are two steps. The first step is about understanding, and the second step in about taking an action.
Step 1: Understanding.
You do not have to continue maintaining pain and suffering, which you have experienced in your past. To make changes in your life and to be happy you first need to decide that you want to make changes and want to be happy…
Many people have gone through tough times in life and have seen the dark side of the human race – however, even if you have seen cruelty, still you can decide now that you prefer to start living with joy and embracing the ‘atoms of goodness’ (as Rumi said).
If you dwell on past negative experiences, you simply continue to recreate them – you re-form suffering every time you think or feel them. The pain is then stored in your body and the molecular-memory re-activates it again and again at your will.
Why not store positive thoughts and experiences, so that your body will rejoice in being alive and being the unique person you are!
No one is the same as the other, even if we do have similarities. Each one is unique and special and has a purpose to him/herself. Uniqueness means that you have a specific talent or gift that you can share with the Universe. No one else can give your gifts; only you can. So, you want to show it, express it – not hide it.
Step 2: Taking action.
Here is a simply action to take in order to change your mind about life, and to embrace happiness:
We ask that you sit down and write a list of five things that make you happy (truly happy in yourself). It can be ‘physical’ things, perhaps some nice things you have. Or, it can be emotions or talents you have; maybe memories or events that may seem insignificant but which actually make you joyful.
It may be things such as the feeling of raindrops on your tongue, the sense of texture when your toes touch the sand, a glow when someone you love smiles at you from heart to heart, or maybe even a few moments of calmness and comfort just before you wake up.
Start with writing five things…
Now that your list of five things is ready, you need to practice it. Choose one thing for each day from Monday to Friday; one thing that makes you happy for each day.
Now, think about the qualities within yourself that make this event a happy one for you. How do you contribute to this happiness? What is special about you, not the event, but you – which make the event so special and joyful?
Then decide to love yourself simply for your own special quality which enables that joy. Each day, love one thing in yourself.
Do this exercise for four weeks, and see how the joy in you grows naturally.
Feel free to share with us your list, and experiences.
© Natalie and Gil Dekel. 12 March 2017.