With Natalie Dekel, MPhil.
Today we’ll do a meditation to discover the true honest self that lies within us. So often it’s so much easier to look outside and judge others for what they have, how they behave, what they think; how they treat their emotions, how they treat emotionally other people. And personally, I find it very hard to actually be extremely, totally honest with myself and see what I’ve got, what I have suppressed, what I don’t want to face.
So in this meditation I’m going to ask to work on total honesty with ourselves, with myself; and I welcome you to join me on this process of discovery. Wishing you the most beautiful journey – healing journey. Thank you.
We shall start by sitting down or lying down, whatever you prefer that will allow you to relax completely without being disturbed for the duration of our meditation. Take a deep breath… and allow your body to relax.
Notice that with each breath you take, you’re looking more inwardly. Your body breathes deeper. And with each inhale, you allow that healing energy to come in. Each breath is the healing energy of life in itself.
The next deep breath you take, suspend it for the moment in your heart and then push it all the way down as you exhale to your root chakra and down into the earth, into your roots as a being.
Feel the energy exploding into the universe, cleansing your body. And as you breathe in again another deep breath you do the same process. You’re holding it in your heart a moment. Illuminate your heart with it and then push it down to your roots, deep through your body through each chakra down into the earth so that it will become the living fountain of energy… the energy of life.
Feel your mind relaxing and become soft, focused on the now. If it strays to think about someone else or something else, you’re leaking away your energy so draw it gently back to focus on the now. We need all the energy we have on order to see who we are.
And as our body relaxes more and more into the being of now, I suggest we start by looking at the base chakra. The base chakra is around your perennial floor. That’s the basic needs of your being, the first stage of your development as human being; the physical body, the needs, the emotional foundations.
And as we’re going to look at it we’re going to see a beautiful mirror with a red frame. It is up to you what shape it takes but whatever shape you see is the one that means something to you. For instance if it’s a star, think what type of star it is. Is it sharp, spiky or smooth, embracing. Is it a circle, a flower shape, an oval? Each one has a meaning for you specifically and you will know what it means for you because of what that shape represents for you.
Mine is an oval. To me it represents rebirth, egg, the beginnings, the foundation, being protected…
That mirror that we’re looking in is glazed with a little red glow so at first we cannot see anything in it. But as we continue to sit in the area of the base chakra, breathing deeply into our hearts as we did in the beginning and just observing this mirror. Notice if it’s big, small, what details it has. Is it complete or cracked? Notice everything you can about your mirror of the base chakra.
And now I invite you to look into the mirror, ask your higher self, your subconscious mind or whatever you believe in whether it’s God, universe, angels, whatever it is you feel comfortable with. Ask you to show you what is it you need to see on the level of the base chakra. What is the honest, true essence that you need to see and understand?
As you continue to look deeply into the mirror, the mirror starts to ripple and get clearer and clearer until you see an image or message or perhaps sound or smell. Whatever the experience, it will be for your highest good and will, what it is you need to know about – honestly, about yourself at that level of your being; at the level of the root/base chakra.
You can carry on with your image but if nothing comes to mind you can follow mine. In front of me I see beautiful scenery of rolling green hills. It’s beautiful and calm and it draws me in to step into it, to dissolve into it as if I’m there in that area that I’m looking at.
And as I walk, it brings to mind my childhood memories of walking in nature, being surrounded by the hills and trees; the sensations if nature that I used to feel and experience as a child. I felt connection to nature. I felt at peace, safe and protected when I was close to trees and hills.
I feel Mother Earth calling me to embrace that connection, to open my heart and come back to this essence of belonging to life, not to the society I’m living in now, not to people that surround me at work, not to any emotional circumstances that I’m spending so much energy on. The connection to earth; that sense of safety, security, support. This is what our true essence in the base chakra is for me; I am supported and loved unconditionally as a daughter of life, of earth just as life would love any tree or being or animal or any existing being because it is part of life, part of who she is.
I’m breathing in that sense of confidence, this rootedness that allows me to flourish because if I’m safe, secure, if nothing threatens me I can be who I am.
My back feels supple, my body feels fluid and powerful and strong. And no matter what my age is I feel I can do anything at all. I can dance, I can run I can fly; whatever I really want to do.
And now life wants to ask me what is it I really want to do. What is it I’ve loved doing as a child and I’ve forgotten or ignored or regretted or…despise now because I was told there’s something better, something I should be doing or must be doing. What is it that I was really good at and love doing, that I enjoy doing it?
The answer comes quickly to you. It might be a memory, a thought but your heart will know this is it. And it’s so simple and easy that you might disregard it but hold onto that because whatever comes so easily to you, it’s your talent, your passion. This is who you truly are. This is your own self saying to you, “Hey, don’t ignore your talents. Don’t ignore who you are because no one else on this planet can do this… not in the same way as you. Not in the same passion, energy and expression as you.
You are a unique, loved, successful being of Mother Earth. And you deserve to shine like there’s no tomorrow…because there isn’t tomorrow, there’s only now. There’s no past. And the only thing that clings to the past is our brain. So if your brain keeps going back to thoughts, emotions, places just switch if off and focus on the now. Click on it like switching off a light and back to the now, to the sense of being safe and secure, grounded and supported in what you really passionately want to do.
The mirror is going back in ripple and is coloured through red, foggy again. It’s asking us to step back, back into the energy fountain as we move up to the sacral level which is on a physical level an inch or two under your belly button. And the energy in this area is orange.
And now as you look at the mirror on that level, observe its shape; observe the meaning of that shape. My mirror looks triangle pointing upwards. To me this means the connection between the physical and the spiritual, between me and others. The way I connect to my environment; to the family, to people, to society. How do I connect my being to those around me?
And so I continue to breathe in that orange energy and wait for the mirror to become clearer and clearer, exploring the shape of it until when it’s possible, I’m going to look inside the mirror and see what happens there for me on the level of sacral energy.
You can carry on with what you see and if you want, if you don’t have an alternative you can my story and see if it’s applicable to you. What I see is desert. Dry, hot sand and to me it signifies that I’ve been so busy giving to others or trying to please others that I’ve starved the beautiful plant that was me, the tree that was my foundation in the base chakra. And now all I see is the sand, the dunes, not a green leaf in sight. And it’s asking me to stop giving to others. To focus on myself. Not because I’m selfish but because I’ve ignored myself to the point that I’m becoming unwell.
As we live in a physical reality, the law of physics demands osmosis when you give and receive. You cannot only give or only receive. It is not a natural law of how the dynamics work. Therefore if you are a giver, you need to stop and allow yourself to receive without guilt, shame, blame or any other negative emotions we’ve been taught to associate with self-treatment, with self-love.
And as I speak, the subject makes my heart ache so here I feel that the honesty demands to say I need to learn to love myself more.
My sacral chakra is starved for love. It needs to be nourished and treated with gentleness and kindness. And I’m sending it a huge amount of love now for mine and anyone else for whom it’s applicable… until the ground becomes soaked with this green loving energy of love. And I continue to pour move into that sacral area until I will see that little green shoots start to appear. Until I know that I’ve made a foundation for life to begin; that I will respect myself from now on to receive self-love, to receive nourishment.
And most importantly, to release that condition that I decided to adopt as a child that I need to wait for someone else to love me, to look after me, to give me what I need. Because no one apart from me will know honestly, totally, absolutely what I need.
Only I know what I need and therefore I can provide what I need …and I already have it. We are self-maintaining beings just like earth is. Now I’m learning to rely on myself to supply my needs.
I learn to love myself and nourish myself and I learn not to blame myself if I see burned trees instead of green ones, if I see dry sand instead of beautiful green hills. This was my learning experience and it made me who I am now and for that I am grateful. So now I can love myself even more because I deserve it and because I am the best for this task that life has given me. It works that way.
If oxygen reacts with another molecule and it causes an explosion, it does not berate itself or dwell in self-guilt and self-blame for the result. It simply attaches itself to hydrogen and becomes water, the nourishment of love and life. Or it oxygenates your blood or whatever else it can do. With mere thoughts and emotions we have the tools to be destructive or creative.
And it is up to us now to decide what aspect of the self do we want to experience?
2015 is going to be a year of action where we manifest what we have learned; where you have to do what you want or achieve or receive. So here I embrace myself and I vow to love myself utterly and completely, accepting myself as I am. And I vow to release guilt, blame regrets and any other negative emotions that drain me of this beautiful love and light that is pouring into that desert now, creating an oasis in the middle of the desert.
If you look in the mirror, it is possible that the shape has changed after this work…
You might want to carry on pouring love and light into that area until the mirror shapes into what you wish to see it as. So for example, my triangle is now more close to an oval. It still has sharp edges but it is metamorphing into an oval.
And as we carry on to another chakra, know that your body continues to work on the previous ones and continues to heal and shift the energy because we are carrying on with the fountain of love, fountain of being through us with each breath we take.
And now we’re shifting to the level of the solar plexus. And as we sit in front of the solar plexus mirror… it’s around your sternum the solar plexus area… notice if the yellow glow is dull or bright, golden, reddish, darker or brighter. Notice the texture, shape of it…
And as you look into the mirror pay attention to what you see. See the mirror clears up with the fog of the energy and look into that area to see what the message is for you.
The message I got for me – and I know it will be applicable to many others is: you are not alone. Sometimes it feels like we are going against the string of life, that we’re battling in a circle; that all the investments, the efforts, the hard work seems never-ending and we feel alone struggling in this wheel of never-ending tasks that doesn’t seem to improve or change.
And yet if you look back, you will notice that every so often there would be a break in that circular motion. There will be a little miracle, whether it’s somebody being kind to you in the street, stopping to greet you good morning with a smile. You started feeling bad and suddenly somebody just smiles at you. Or perhaps an unexpected surprise; a present, a gift, a kind word, a hug…
Life tells us we are not alone. We never have been and will never be. Just as the molecules are working in different groupings they’re continuously, constantly shifting and rearranging themselves, even in the same structure. The stone is never the same stone. It’s constantly shifting, changing, evolving. Mountains change and evolve. The trees change and evolve. It may look the same; it is not the same. So we as a being are never the same, are never alone but all part of one big, large existence that’s constantly shifting, evolving, changing.
The only thing that may think is stuck is the illusory programming of our mind, since our mind is only working as a backup situation to bring past experience for us to get an outcome on a physical level. It cannot see the future or assess the now. And relying on the rear view of past events indeed will keep you in a circle. But if you break the looking into that circuit of thinking with mind and just observe your present, carefully, thoroughly observe what you are doing now, where you are now, who is with you now, what is happening to you now, you will see a change. Every moment by moment there is a different event, different emotion, different situations as variations; those change.
Pay attention to these changes because the change is building up and soon it will manifest into a bigger change and a bigger change until the mountain will shift, the trees will change…you will change.
You are drawn back to the fountain of life. And we’re shifting to the level of the heart.
And now as we sit in the chambers of heart, look around you. In this chamber the mirrors surround you completely. The whole chamber is surrounded with mirrors; above you, below you, around you…infinite numbers of mirrors in gorgeous green frames.
What do you see? What does it make you feel seeing yourself in so many ways at the same time? Are you happy to see yourself? Are you ashamed? Are you judgmental? What do you feel seeing yourself? What does it mean to you?
I see myself in different periods of time all at the same time because past has never been and every time I’ve grown up, grow older, that being exists parallel to me right here, right now. They’re all alive in me. They all have their experiences and it is up to me to love them and soothe them and offer them companionship or parenthood or support, whatever they need whether it’s you as a tiny baby or you as a grown-up. You’re there for you.
And all these selves of you waiting to be loved, listened, appreciated and supported. One of them is catching your eye again and again. Who is it? How old were you then? What happened? What does that aspect of yourself need? Speak to them. Have a little conversation, give them a hug.
Tell them how much you appreciate and honor and respect them, and love them and accept them just as they are…and how proud you are of them.
Tell them that you are here for them always from now on.
And as you send this love to that aspect of self and all the other infinite number of selves in the mirrors, the chamber swells with love. It breathes and beats with bits of life and each beat spreads love further, deeper…so with each heartbeat you’re spreading the love. You’re enlarging your heart. You’re expanding on your love so that it encompasses all aspects of your being; all the cells in your body, all the expression of yourself in this lifetime… your house, your street, your country… fill it with love, with your light.
Now we’re being drawn back into the fountain of life moving up into the level of the throat. Look the mirror there. It should be pale blue, blue colour. Pale or dark depends on you, and what you experience in this moment. Observe the mirror. Is it full or broken? Is it the shape you wanted it to be or perhaps an unusual shape? Look into the mirror and see what it’s got to tell you.
My mirror in this area is broken. It tells me that I have not spoken the words I wanted to many years ago. But instead or regretting or being upset about the unspoken words, I’m going to heal the mirror by sending it more love and by allowing the inner self to express itself in whatever way it chooses from now on. I’m accepting everything it has to say even if it’s silly or inappropriate or whatever it is that comes out of it. I allow it to speak up. I’m proud of it and I love it for speaking up. I forgive it for not speaking up or for speaking things that perhaps I regretted saying.
I allow the throat mirror to heal. The unspoken words can come out as sounds of music, birds, flowers, whatever feels right for you. In my case I see a little shoot of flowers start to come up in the image in the mirror. And as it grows in my love, the mirror becomes complete and whole.
And across the fabric of life, across past, present and future the broken pieces merge together effortlessly, seamlessly into one complete whole because there’s a power flow to remove the illusion of shape and breakage and allow pure energy to take place.
You are powerful beyond belief. You can heal your past; you can change your future by changing yourself now, speaking up your truth at all times and being true to yourself, to that beautiful being that is unique on planet earth. Amongst billions of people there’s only you and there will never be exactly the same again.
Send more and more love until you feel complete; until the energy is shining beautifully from that mirror… Perhaps you will have a message that urges you to do something that you were procrastinating or postponing, not wanting to do. This is your message. This is your expression of self. The time has come to be neutrally loved.
If you want a different future, if you want results for a financial situation you need to imagine yourself differently. You need to visualize what it is you want from your future emotionally. What do you want to feel and then how do you make yourself feel that?
This is you expression of self. This is your communication to the universe of your needs. No one else will know how to fulfill this need. No one can give you what you don’t know what to receive. So you decide now what you want to feel; you feel it and then you ask yourself how do I get to this feeling? What would make me feel like that? Maybe little steps, maybe big steps but you will be guided. Feeling comes first.
No we go back to the fountain of life, into the third eye chakra. It’s positioned in between your eyebrows, a little above that. Surrounded with purple indigo light…
Observe that energy, observe that mirror. Feel it becoming clearer with each breath you take and dive into that to see what the message is for you.
The message I’ve got is that I need to love more those around me because we’re here for a limited time and every moment counts, every moment changes your life. Every moment changes lives of others. Love as if there’s only today. Express yourself fully and honestly. Appreciate and be grateful for what you’ve got, whether it’s something very small or something big. Because the more grateful you are, the more your life changes; the more this growth of life and abundance and prosperity in every area of your life; so we will not be stuck in a desert as I was in my sacral chakra. You will surrounded by the lush greenery of life.
So thank you, life, I am grateful. I am grateful to every single cell in my body. I am grateful for my body, for my experience, for my living. I am grateful for life living me. I am grateful for being alive. Thank you…I love you.
And now we have gone back into the fountain of life and it explodes in all colours of rainbow; huge firework of energy. And as we come up to the top of our being, it goes down, down our bodies into the earth grounding us with each chakra it passes down, bringing us down into our bodies…down to earth, down to our feet.
Notice how the breath comes in and out of your body. Notice your muscles and legs, your feet on the ground or the surface you’re sitting on…
Feel your being become grounded, rooted into this reality with all the lessons you’ve learned today. You are amazing. You’re powerful. And there’s only one of you in the whole, wide universe. So take care of that special you.
Thank you so much for listening to this meditation. I honor and appreciate your sharing it with me. Thank you.
2 Jan 2015
© Natalie Dekel